Diocese of Virginia Episcopal

Allowed my former priest to bully me, misuse my memorial donations in honor of my mother, and breach confidentiality, then said the matter was not of weighty and material importance to the ministry of the church.Steer clear of this broken, dysfunctional, sick diocese and church.

An important warning about the diocese to anyone who may have experienced abuse of any sort: Do not file a Title IV complaint! When I did, I asked the diocese to mediate a dispute with the rector of my parish, Bob Malm of Grace Episcopal Church in Alexandria; my concerns involved bullying by the rector, questionable HR, cash management, governance, and financial reporting practices, and possible gender-based workplace harassment.Not only did the diocese dismiss my complaint as not being of weighty and material importance to the ministry of the church, but it knowingly allowed Malm to engage in retaliation for filing a complaint. His campaign continues to this day, more than three years later, and included instructions to church clergy and staff to exclude us from the life of the parish. So, the church can gas on about #metoo all it wants, but the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia says in writing that workplace harassment is unimportant.Moreover, Bishop Shannon and the diocese knowingly violated Title IV, the Episcopal disciplinary canon, by improperly dismissing my complaint at the Reference Panel stage. That is not an option available to it, but when I pointed that out to the diocese, I was ignored.Most recently, the conflict with Bob Malm has flared back up again, but rather than holding folks accountable, +Shannon has sent out a letter of support for the clergy in question; his letter also falsely claims that these matters were investigated and resolved long ago. Having been dismissed by the intake officer, the matters were neither resolved nor investigated; they were brushed off.That is deplorable and despicable and shows a complete lack of understanding of the dynamics of abuse. And the most recent development is that Bob Malm contacted the police, falsely claiming that I threatened him. +Shannon is well aware of this, as well as allegations that Malm has perjured himself, but still does nothing.The upshot: If you experience sexual harassment or other abuse, DO NOT TELL THE DIOCESE. Tell the police, file a lawsuit, do whatever you need to do. Just know that you are putting yourself at risk if you tell the diocese.Update, July 27, 2018:Bob Malm, through his attorney Jeff Chiow, today tried to subpoena my mother, Sigrid Yahner, as part of his ongoing, multi-year vendetta against me. As Bob and Jeff both well know, Mom is terminally ill with COPD. +Shannon and +Susan are fully aware of this, and continue to allow and condone this disgraceful conduct. That tells you just how thoroughly broken ethics are within Mayo House and the diocese. Caveat emptor.September 2018:Most recently, Bob Malm, rector of Grace Episcopal Church in Alexandria, filed a pleading in the Alexandria Circuit Court in my case containing three facially obvious lies. I promptly informed Bishop Shannon and Bishop Goff, who appear to have taken no action. Moreover, during discovery, Malm lied under oath, falsely claiming my mother had contacted him repeatedly. She did not, nor did anyone do so on her behalf.Why have a bishop if he or she cannot ensure that canonically resident clergy act with integrity? Surely perjury is actionable.May 2019:Today the diocese sent me a notice dismissing my Title IV complaint against Bob Malm, saying in writing that perjury is only actionable if there is a criminal conviction. So, beware all clergy misconduct is acceptable in the diocese as long as theres no criminal conviction! Truly a scary proposition and proof that the diocese has utterly lost any ethical reference point.

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